Optimist: "The glass is half full."
Pessimist: "The glass is half empty."
Realist: "Yep, that's a glass alright."
Idealist: "One day, cold fusion from a glass of water will provide unlimited energy and end all wars."
Capitalist: "If I bottled this and gave it a New Age-y sounding name, I could make a fortune."
Communist: "This glass of water belongs to all of us in equal measure."
Conspiracist: "The government is adding fluoride to this glass of water for mind control purposes."
Sexist: "This glass isn't gonna refill itself, sweetcheeks..."
Nihilist: "This glass doesn't exist, and neither do I."
Opportunist: "There's a funny T-shirt in here somewhere..."