Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Gambling on a Fart... and Losing.

My cousin recently forwaded me this gem of a craigslist post. I think what it says holds true --- everyone has gambled on a fart before, and nobody's ever won 100% of the time. I can think of a few memorable instances in my own experience.

Posted to craigslist recently. So good.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Tyler Zick <>
Date: Fri, Jan 16, 2009 at 8:59 AM
Subject: craigslist post
To: James Romey <>

We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that.

I thought we had chemistry sitting at 6 rivers sharing that basket of hot wings while drinking the chili beer. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you.

At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don't feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said "First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me" was meant to be funny, not offensive.

I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle's lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don't think anyone wins 100% of the time. That's why they call it "gambling". I'm the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit when you're not sitting on a heated leather seat...

What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.

I await your call,

P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early…Touché…

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